It's funny how watching Mel Gibson's Apocalypto—with its severed heads rolling down the steps, and perusing an online novelty shop from which I had just purchased some Cocktail Demons—which also sold a variety of shrunken heads, can bring back childhood memories. A quick google search led me to exactly what I was looking for. A page about Vincent Price's Shrunken Head kit that I had owned as a child. Glorious!

This basically gave children the chance to mutilate apples in the likeness of severed heads, soak them in salt water, then leave them hanging in a containment unit that hooked onto a lamp so that the light bulb could dry them out—shrinking them. Then you would add make-up, bead eyes, bead teeth and hair. What can I say... We didn't really have video games back then.

So I got to thinking... do I still have these relics? What the hell would a 25 year old apple look like? A quick search in the Sir time capsule trunk o junk led to an exciting discovery. I still had them! The pictures on this page are photos of shrunken heads I made over 25 years ago. The kit may be long gone, but the fruits of its labor remain!

Pirate Shrunken Head

It seems that I didn't like my shrunken heads to seem like dead, inanimate objects, but rather preferred to pretend they were alive. Behold Pirate Shrunken Head, complete with a hat stitched by grandma and a ridiculously large moustache. The reason it's a head on a stick is not because I had fantasies of being Vlad the Impaler, but because at one point in time (from what I can recall) the pole had a base and a hand-drawn body on paper was taped to the front of the pole. Hag Shrunken Head did not receive such royal treatment. The poor old bitch!

View Enlarged Pirate Shrunken Head

Hag Shrunken Head

Hag Shrunken Head may not have had the luxury of a crappy paper body and a stick shoved into her brain, but she sure had a full head of hair! That and a piercing blue eye to contrast her black as death one. I'm pretty sure that Marilyn Manson stole his look from my work. I just don't know how or when he got into my trunk.

View Enlarged Hag Shrunken Head

Well that's it. I'm thinking of making these relics Gods and starting a cult. I would be the High Priest. So if you are interested in worshipping my shrunken heads and joining my cult, please contact us. I promise I won't cut your heart out, burn it, chop your head off, and roll your body parts down steps like Mel Gibson would have me do.

Sir