Zooass - Who We Are - Sir

Welcome to my very own mullet pages. Rather than hiding my mullet past, I have chosen to embrace it and celebrate the glory that once was. What follows is a collection of my favorite photos of me with my mullet. The patch of hair on my face to the left is really matted cat fur I taped to my face for some odd reason. To the right I treat my mullet to a fine Backwoods cigar.

"Ladies! Please! Your messing up my coif!"

Chicks Dig Mullets!

Throughout history, mullets have attracted women young and old alike. To the left I am surrounded by horny young girls just hoping to get a piece of the mullet. To the right, an old woman's youth is rekindled as she absorbs the aura of my ridiculous hairdo.

Grandma Murray toasts to
the glory of my mullet.

"Hey ladies... wanna stroke my mullet?"

Sexy Beach Mullet

This is perhaps the most humiliating of all my mullet pictures. Just look at that ridiculous expression on my face! I was bound to score! Flowing Beach Mullet (to the right) watches the scene with utter disgust.

Flowing Beach Mullet

"Did you see that chick in the spandex?"

Glam Mullets

The word poser was a big one back in the 80s. Although my wardrobe typically mirrored that of Beavis & Butt-head, my goofy friends and I would go all out when we hit the glam metal circuit. To the left we see the Mötley Müllet, which I sported in honor of the Crüe. On formal occasions, I went with the much more civilized Adam Curry (to the right).

The Adam Curry (ex-MTV VJ)

Mullet in the Middle	Mullet Sandwich Even mullets need love. Here we see my mullet sandwiched between two young ladies. Notice how the hair seems to reach back towards the girl on the left. Some say that mullets have a mind of their own. This is quite evident in the picture below.
	A Mullet Nursing on a Warm Teat

Those Zany Mullets!

Goof Mullets

Mullets just wanna have fun! From water fights, to human sundaes, to dressing up like hicks and pretending to ass fuck their friends... the party just never stops!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehah!

Dueling Mullets at Mardi Gras

Hooch Mullets

Mullets just love to hit the bottle and taste such fine spirits as Tequila and Thunderbird fortified wine. To the left we see a couple MardiMullets, aptly named because they were spotted on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. To the right we see common mullets savoring the gut wrenching tastes of cheap wine and hard liquor.

T-bird and Tequila

"I'm So Wasted!"

Pickled Mullets

Sometimes Mullets just party a bit to much and become drunken stumblebums. To the left we see a wasted mullet slamming his balls into a metal railing. To the right we see a mullet smoking a hand-rolled cigarette of some sort. This mullet will never run for office.

Ffffffffffff!

Geek Mullet

Mullets in Academia

Believe it or not, not all mullets are dumb. They may be fools, but they aren't necessarily stupid. The Geek Mullet (to the left) studies hard, so that one day he can become an outstanding member of society. The Mullet Cum Laude (to the right) graduated with honors. Pardon me, Sir, but is that a bird's nest on your head?

Mullet Cum Laude

Pauli Dog on the Beach

Mullet Friends

Mullets often travel in packs. Many of my friends also had mullets. To the left, Pauli sports his fine locks. To the right we see our very own JB of Zooass! Note how neatly trimmed his hair is above the ears. It makes my mullet look bad, dammit!

JB of Zooass also had a mullet...

Chubby with queen Aqua Net

Can it be possible that more than half of the Zooass staff once had mullets? We aim to please! Here was see the classic mullet of our very own technogeek, Chubby. To the left we see the traditional pairing of mullet with high hair. A little off the sides and a can of Aqua Net later, they were a match made in heaven. To the right we see Chubby with a chick with more relaxed plumage.

...as did Chubby of Zooass!

A mullet saying hello

If everyone was a mullet, the world would be a better place. Why? Because mullets aren't racist! They grace the noggins of people from all cultures. Case in point, to the left Rathi sports his Gunga Mullet of yesteryear.

An Españmullet in Madrid

Mullets I've Recently Spotted

My mullet may be gone, but thankfully there are many still out there. Here's one I spotted in an Irish Pub in Madrid, Spain, not too long ago. I call it the Españmullet! If I encounter any more of these fantastic creatures I will be sure to take a picture and post it here!

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