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FS's Latest Blog Entries

Monday, March 15, 2010

That thing on my toe just oozed some more pus. Sort of tastes like licorice. Saw a spider and screamed like a girl. Hurt myself street biking. Jerked off to Big Bad Mama Jama video. So sweaty... will it ever stop? Heard a noise in the hallway. Waited with my gun. Drank so much bourbon that I had to get a hotel room. Threw up in the bed.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Shoved my cordless phone antenna up my ass. Got high. Ate a bag of Doritos. Inhaled and entire cannister of Dust-Off. Spent 2 hours trying to find a way to extract resin from my dirty bong water using coffee filters and a hair dryer. Paid a homeless woman $5 to blow me. Tried jerking off while doing a headstand. I ended up wrenching my neck and spraining my left wrist before I blew my load. To boot, I got a drop of lube in my right eye and my vision has been blurry for 2 days now. Damn! Drank so much bourbon that I had to get a hotel room. Threw up in the bed.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

That thing on my toe just oozed some more pus. Sort of tastes like licorice. Had explosive diarrhea. Heard a noise in the hallway. Waited with my gun. Hurt myself street biking. Spent 2 hours trying to find a way to extract resin from my dirty bong water using coffee filters and a hair dryer. Lit a fart. Smoked weed. Ate a bag of beef jerky and 6 packages of snack crackers.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Wiped my ass with the bible. Got high. Ate a bag of Doritos. Paid a homeless woman $5 to blow me. My ball sweat smells off today. Must be something in my diet. Smoked weed. Ate a bag of beef jerky and 6 packages of snack crackers. Got baked. Ate 3 packs of ramen noodles. Drank so much bourbon that I had to get a hotel room. Threw up in the bed.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Drank so much bourbon that I had to get a hotel room. Threw up in the bed. Paid a homeless woman $5 to blow me. Had explosive diarrhea. Spent 2 hours trying to find a way to extract resin from my dirty bong water using coffee filters and a hair dryer. Inhaled and entire cannister of Dust-Off. Jerked off to Big Bad Mama Jama video. My ball sweat smells off today. Must be something in my diet.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Hurt myself street biking. Farted in my hand and smelled it. Had explosive diarrhea. So sweaty... will it ever stop? My ball sweat smells off today. Must be something in my diet. Got high. Ate a bag of Doritos. Lit a fart.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

So sweaty... will it ever stop? Inhaled and entire cannister of Dust-Off. Spanked it to skanky internet porn. I sat nude in the empty bathtub while trying to think of various ways to kill myself, until I realized that a new Lord of Rings glossy picture book was being released next week. I no longer want to kill myself... at least not for now. That thing on my toe just oozed some more pus. Sort of tastes like licorice. Farted in my hand and smelled it. Lit a fart.