ZOOSIGNS

Our plot for world domination is underway! It all starts by making Zooass.com America's #1 write in vote! Whether it be an election for school janitor or President of the United States of America, Zooass is the perfect candidate! And what better way to spread the word than making those annoying cardboard election signs that pop up all over place when it's time to cast your vote?
As we plaster the medians and highway shoulders of America with our propaganda we will post the pictures below. Election signs are just the start. We have some other ideas brewing that we think you'll enjoy!

Instead or getting signs printed up professionally, Zooass creates all campaign materials in their humble abodes. We believe that this reflects the personal attention that we would give each an every one of you* if you elect Zooass for President. It also make us very stupid and proves that we have no lives whatsoever. We hope to receive many write-in votes on the basis of pity alone.
*Includes females with large bosoms only.

As the sun sets on our wondrous signs we see a new era on the horizon. An inquiring passer by was quite amused by our antics as we struggled to hammer these beauties into the rock hard ground. Amused enough to vote Zooass? Only time will tell.

Get 'em with the one two punch baby! Hopefully the poor schmucks en route to sit in beltway traffic all morning might be in a better mood thanks to the sheer stupidity of Zooass! Joy and happiness for all are just around the corner!
Just remember when you go into that voting booth and peruse the names on the ballot... "Keep the tradition alive! Vote another ass into office!" There's no ass quite like a Zooass so we make the perfect candidate! Our sole campaign promise is that you'll walk out of that booth with a smile on your face and you'll be feeling fine. What more can you ask for? Ummm... lots we guess... never mind... Oh! And we also promise that if we get blown by any interns, they won't be fat ugly cows!
November 7, 2000, Election Day - The good news... we inadvertently posted our signs one block from a voting location. The bad news... someone ripped one our signs off the post that we duct taped it to. Boooooooooo! And we thought everyone loved us!

Sign placement is a very important part of any good campaign. Placing our sign on the side of a hill represents that we are superior to the riffraff below us. It can also mean that we like to be on top. But it doesn't. We like to be on the bottom. This allows for deeper penetration and, oh... never mind.

With the successful posting of the Zooass election sign,
Sir anticipates a landslide over the other candidates.
Carl Peed. Uh huh huh. huh huh. huh huh huh.

There she blows! No. We're not talking about the girl in the back seat of
the minivan in the distance, but our trusty Zooass election sign.
Has anyone seen Bob's dix? We hear it's a big one.

A glorious vision of things to come. Have you voted for Zooass today?