Destination: Wreck Beach Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada Directions: Just south of the UBC Museum of Anthropology at 6393 NW Marine Drive. Take trail 4, 5 or 6 to the beach. Hours: Daytime Cost: Free. Where would you keep your money? Synopsis: What's so strange about a nude beach? Naked Tai Chi Man of course!

Zooass Report: Rumor had it that nude beaches featured just a bunch of middle aged fatties with no shame whatsoever, so when we heard about Wreck Beach in Vancouver we just had to check it out. Lucky for us (and you!), we had the Zooass video camera with us to document a mythic creature knows as "Naked Tai Chi Man." A trek down a steep hill with all too many steps later we reached the entrance to the beach. We were greeted by a middle-aged man whose bloated belly hung over his tunnel runner, shading it from the sun's merciless rays. Our suspicions concerning the physiques of the beach's dwellers were confirmed, but we moved on nonetheless. We walked down the beach, taking in most of the scene with our peripheral vision to avoid "what are you looking at, pervert?" stares and traumatization which would undoubtedly occur after viewing sagging, floppy rolls of aged flesh. Finer examples of the human form were few and far between. We contemplated getting naked ourselves, but once we caught a frightening glance of something that looked more like an elongated beet than and cock we quickly changed our minds. Eventually we made it to a jetty somewhat removed from the action and sat on the rocks. After a man wearing a t-shirt but no pants (I think you got that backwards buddy) treated a female friend of ours to a purple penis in the face while peddling soft drinks, out came the zoocam, and just in the knick of time. There was the legendary (he wasn't a legend then but he is now) Naked Tai Chi Man! Suddenly the soundtrack to Karate Kid played in our heads. Wearing only a baseball cap, this graceful creature moved with the agility of a drunken whooping crane. It was a total fucking riot! So here we have for you, loyal ZooFans, exclusive zooass footage of a legend in the making! If you are not a Zooass subscriber click here for details.

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