Destination: The Chicken Drop at the Pier Lounge Location: Ambergris Caye, Belize, Central America Directions: On the beach in San Pedro Hours: Wednesdays from 6 to 10 Cost: A buck a bet Web Site: The Pier Lounge Synopsis: Win $100 betting on chicken shit

Zooass Report: We thought our trip to Belize was just going to be your typical tropical getaway. Little did we know that we were about to discover an oddity like the Chicken Drop. We first heard about this spectacle on a dive boat after swimming with sharks in the Blue Hole. We were hoping to get some underwater footage for our up and coming nature film "Shark Bites: Scars That'll Get You Laid," but the damn things didn't seem to find us alluring. After our dive, we downed some cold ones and shot the shit with our fellow travelers. One of our female companions asked us if we were going to the Chicken Drop when we got back to the island. The what? We had to hear more! Once we learned that the key elements of this ritual were chickens, shit, and winning money we knew we had to attend. An island tradition, they claimed. Sure. Whatever. It's a damn good idea nonetheless. Here's how it all went down. We arrived at the Pier Lounge buzzed and ready. There it was. The playing field of perhaps the one of the world's strangest games. This fenced in giant bingo card would soon be crapped upon for our amusement and good fortune if luck would have it. The rules of the game were simple. Bet a buck a square. If the chicken shits on your number, you win the pot of $100. Sounds easy enough. I thought I could win easy if I could slam the chicken onto my square to start the game off. I was wrong. To my delight, my request to toss the chicken myself was granted. After some hesitation (I had never picked up a chicken - visions of a sharp beak ripping through my flesh filled my head), I reached into the basket and picked the sucker up. It was a pretty calm chicken. Perhaps it had been smoking some local herb before game play. Or perhaps it had been traumatized from earlier drops. As I held it the chicken in the air I was told to blow on its ass. Huh? Blow on its ass? They claimed this would loosen the chicken up. Get him ready to shit. Sure. No problem. I shoved my tongue so far up that chicken's asshole it let out a shriek that could be heard on the other side of the island. Just kidding. But I did blow some air in its general direction from arm's length. Then I tossed him (or her) onto my square in hopes that he'd shit on impact. Instead, he seemingly fell asleep. People screamed. People yelled. People made jerking movements above the damn thing, but it was useless. The fucker just stood there... eyes glazed over... not moving at all. What a gyp! After about 10 minutes of total noise another chicken was tossed onto the playing field to inspire our paralyzed poultry to do his duty. That chicken must have been a real bad ass, because the shit hit the board almost immediately. But alas, it the shit did not drop on my number. I was not a winner. Now I'd have to prostitute myself to elderly women to pay for the rest of the trip. Oh well. At least I didn't have to clean up chicken shit in order to claim the prize. But then again, I'd wipe up chicken shit all day long for $100 a poop.