October 1998 - January 7th 2000

I used to have a hamster named Sweetie. Cutest thing you ever saw. Stupid, but cute. Little guy holed up for a couple days. Didn't see him much. Built up little walls of sawdust in his plastic house. Finally I noticed his food and water was full and hadn't been changed for a couple days. So, I dug him out. Turns out the little shit had pissed all over the inside of his sawdust nest so it hardened and he had no oxygen left. Please give him a plot... "Ode to Sweetie" Goodbye, my little hamster, Au revoir, my loving pet. Because you were so stupid, Death is what you get. You hid out in your house, Never saw you for a week. I missed your little face, hon, I missed your little 'squeek'. I gave you food and water, You never touched a bit, I found you three days later, In an airtight ball of shit. I'll miss you, little hamster, You're a really awesome pet. But cuz you were so stupid, This is all you'll get. (R.I.P. Sweetie...) ~Delilah~

August '99 - July 27th, 2000

"L'il white buddy, with your weird eyes of red, I can't get over the fact that you're dead. Was it all of that pasta that you used to eat? Or the possible toe jam you licked off my feet? I'll always remember our trips to the park, And those cute little pee trails you left as your mark. And of course, remember, back in November When I caught you pervertedly milking your member? Oh little Kramer, I'm going miss you, And wherever you are, I hope you miss me too." Robert Fink

Born 24 April 1997, Died 6 September 1999 whilst under anaesthetic during a tumor removal operation

Retard was a cute little rat. Never harmed anyone, always eager to run up your arm and nestle upon your shoulder. Chewing away on bits of food, looking up at you with her bright, black eyes, you just couldn't resist picking her up. Always sniffing the air hoping for a waft of bong smoke and loved to get blown out, we all loved her. We hope she is happy and reunited with her sister Eightball, playing and fighting and having fun. ~*Retard, Rest In Peace*~ mungbean

Morley (1998 - 1999)

This was my Morley. She lived a short life from Oct '98 to May of '99. My sweetie always took care of me. She would dry my feet with her tongue when I got out of the shower. She had a sense of humor, subjecting me to tickle torture, where she'd run up my pant leg. But always she was understanding. When the X-files came on, she would sit quietly and watch the show with me. The day she got sick I took her to the vet and those idiots sent her home and she died a few hours later. Join in my crusade to educate vets about the ailments of rats! Let no more souls suffer needlessly. Kelly

Squeekums (1993 - 1998)
Little Squeekums my guinea pig was the greatest. When she heard water and wanted it, she would squeek (hence the name). She was smart and cute and my baby!!! When she died I cried for three days and I get depressed still thinking about it... she was the greatest! We miss you Squeekums! I LOVE YOU!!! Doppers

		The Calcium Enriched Fate of Bubbles
Got Milk?		Bubbles was a baby mouse I found on my garage floor. He didn't even have eyes yet. I took him to a friends house where he lived for 5 days in a ceramic pot, which was in a shoe box, which was in a big plastic bucket (we didn't want to lose him in the house). Bubbles got his name from when we fed him for the first time. Some milk got in his nose and he blew bubbles out of it. Little Bubbles will by greatly missed by those who knew him. Send condolences to Jennifer.

This is the End My Friend One time I had a guinea pig. I really loved that little bastard. Then this one really sick kid at my school named Tim Ball decided to shove that innocent helpless creature up his ass. My guinea pig suffocated, and Tim had to go to the hospital. Please give my pet a plot. The end. Kevin Irwin

In Memory of Lucy Evans Born: January, 1996 • Died: May, 1998 Lucy had a very loving life... even though she bit everyone that she came in contact with. She will be greatly missed. She was an avid wheel spinner and enjoyed climbing in her plastic tubing. We had hoped that one day she would be on the Wheel of Fortune and would be able to spin the wheel, but those days are gone. We miss you lucy! Unknown at Ball State University

Pecker No More My pet rat, Pecker, was killed by my sister's cat, Tiger. I let the cat into the cage, and when I came back, all that was left was his head. I severely beat the cat, then fed it to my dog. I then killed my dog for eating my cat. Now they're all in a better place. Send condolences to Vernon Crowder.

	Mijo, Mijo, dear sweet Mijo, I rescued you from the jaws of death, your 12 brothers and sisters all became snake snacks. You led a kingly life, one of luxury, you were spoiled in a way that any rat would envy. Some did not appreciate your long scaly tail, or your huge nads that dragged across the floor without fail.
They said you were gross when you started to go bald, those intolerant little people whose words could scald. They cringed when you crawled all over me and when I called you love names like baby, pooky, schmoopy and sweet pea.

Send A Mijo Postcard to a Friend!

Mijo the star of all our greeting cards, Now you are buried in the backyard. You are gone and there is no joy for me, except when around the house I find your petrified poopy. Hugs and kisses to my sweet little schmoopy. I leave your memory at Zooass, so that others may admire your undying beauty. Send condolences to Boopie.

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