Zooass Pet Cemetery - Fido's Boneyard

Plot Group 1 | Plot Group 2

Hahahaha my old dog was so stupid! He was very entertaining though... to laugh at! Everyday when driving down the road to go to work he would always run in front of my car until we were off our private road so he could go mess around with the neighbors dog... (For various reasons... If you were a dog what would you do with your neighbors? Hahahaha!) He used to go around biting everyone too... Cost me 200 bucks once.

But one day I was very tired (I had like 4 hours of sleep) and he did his usual routine of "Must protect my master" and I accidentally ran his ass over... There was blood all over the place but for some reason we had a hose nearby so I threw him in his old doggy caddy and took him to animal control... *sniff sniff* =-[

Prayers to Justin Tice

You lucky ZooSponsors get to see the story in action! Is there an afterlife for horny male dogs? Click on the image below to find out!

(official name on AKC papers: Pookie)
11/12/87 - 9/3/00

Touch me again and I'll rip your throat out!

More About Pit Bulls

Boo was with me through everything–my rock star days through my junkie drug busts. He made it until I got out of prison, then started having problems. His cataracted eye started oozing, so the vet took it out. He was fine, his old self. Then the socket swelled up the size of a golf ball, so the fuckin' idiots put him on quartizone steroids as an anti-inflammatory. Either they overdosed him or he had a reaction, because he couldn't breathe, couldn't sleep, sit, lie down, anything-like he was on a massive speed overdose. He died that same night, by the couch I fell asleep on. We buried him in the back yard with a Boston Terrier headstone. This picture is fairly recent, about 6 months old. He was my kid and I miss my little guy. But I'm getting one of his pureblood grandsons in 6 weeks.

Rest in peace, crazy pup!

GueroLocoPrez

April of 1986 - June of 1994

As hard as it was to choose, I brought you home and not a wife...
and then I named you "Grace", cause all men need some in their life.

We had eight years together. You made me crazy, made me the "bitch". But, Grace, I have to tell you, Life without you isn't as "rich".

Werdna

Little did Wernda know, Grace was a tit sniffin' dog that would track voluptuous beauties by day and take showers with them by night. Perhaps his potential life mate was just a pup sprint away. If only he could have learned to speak canine then he may have had two fine bitches!

Screw the squeak toys! Now here's somethin' I can play with!

December 9, 1989 - April 25, 2000

Chow as we called him was a faithful & good friend. But as you can see from the picture he was just a bit to excitable. The dog was alwasys looking for action. Hell he even humped my son's head while he was asleep in the floor. As time went by Chow became almost Human. When I scolded him I could be assured of a pile left in my bed or a wet shoe in the morning. As he grew older the nastier he became. He would be put outside to do his business but lo & behold he'd come back in & crap in my floor. Any new pet I would get he'd would try to nail!! As he aged the dog became deaf & blind but not mute that's for sure. His constant snorting & snoring became unbearable. I would put him out & he still drowned out the T.V. !!! But Chow's life finally ended with a massive heart attack. May the Bastard rest in Peace!!!!!

K.D. Holt

There's nothing I like better than when someone sticks a ball in my mouth!

Born: 2/14/85 • Died: 9/14/99

If ever there was a bitch that LOVED her balls!!! Missy was nuts for 'em!!!

Send condolences to Andrea Woods

The Victim
I got shot. People suck.

I got shot.
People suck.

This is Angus. My neighbor across the street shot him in '97. He was a good dog. But now he's dead and I still have his blood stains on my bedroom floor. We prosecuted the guy who shot him (for no reason). He was about 5 year's old.

Send condolences to Itchee

The Killer
Sir of Zooass at 6 years of age.

Buba's 5 year old killer. Oh wait... maybe we read that wrong...

Minchia will some slut and lots of Duff beer. I just lost Triever's partner Easter Sunday To Cancer. She didn't go easy, she fought it all the way. She was the best, most loyal, and protective dog I've ever had. I don't know if I'll ever have a dog that will know me as well or go through so much shit with me than her. Oh Minchia! I will miss you dearly! Despite the fact that you were a hopeless lesbian drunk I still loved you. I'll always remember how you used to come home and pass out in bed next next to me, panting on my neck with your stinking liquor breath. I'll even miss those trashy women you always brought home. Where the hell did you dig them up anyway? I Love you more than anything and will miss you until the day that I die.

Rest in Peace My Sweet Baby,
Sparrow

This is as close as you can get to a picture of my doggie. I really didn't have time to take one... he didn't live that long. Cappichino was born on October 30, 1998. He got hit by a car on January 1st, 1999... probably by a drunk driver. Anyway, I would like to say god rest his soul and I won't ever forget you Cappichino!

Master's dramatization of Cappichino's passing

Cappichino was a puppy,
Who always loved to play.
The only thing that sucks alot,
Is that he didn't see the car today.

RPTwinkie

Lizzie on a drug run. I married a woman a couple years ago that decided to sleep all damn day. While she did that, the two year old son (hers & some sperm donor from Arkansas...) escaped from the room she locked him in and burned down my home of fifteen years. Dear little wife ran through the house opening doors, "To keep the fire from spreading." sounds a bit fishy... except the door that my dog was behind. Left that one shut somehow. Soooo... Lizzie burned to death. Then the wife unit hit the road with my credit cards. Racking up a huge bill at Frederick's of Hollywood. Mostly panties and lingerie... and an air ticket to London to be with the on-line honey she met. Do I sound bitter? Only because I am!

Randall G. Prince