Fido's Boneyard

Plot Group 1 | Plot Group 2

I smell fish. Or is that the scent of a female dog in heat?
Where the hell am I?

This is my "dead" dog gizzie, born in 1982. Technically he is not really dead yet, but might as well be. He is too old to be alive... like 126 in people years. He is completely deaf, blind in one eye, can only see about 8 inches in front of him with the good eye, and he falls over when he tries to take a leak. he stands in place for hours at a time, we got to poke him to make sure he hasnt died on his feet. he once got "lost in a fish tank, he just sttod there for like 10 min whining cause he was confused.... I had to get the camera. My mom won't take him to be put down. I think he is dead already and just don't know it, like a zombie of some kind. I figured his real time of death to be around the spring of 1994. Right now, the engine's running and there's nobody at the wheel. I'll miss you Gizzie, and I'll treat your wandering corpse good till mom sees it to be put down also.
-Sir Romeo P.S. If someone you love falls over when tapping a kidney when they are not either drunk, stoned, or sleepwalking... do the right thing and lay em to rest.

Born 8/15/94 • Died 6/9/98

I met Ralph at the bar down the street from my house. He was a heavy drinker who lost everything from it. He also had an ass sniffing problem that he went to meetings for. He asked me if he could stay at my house for a few days. Being the nice guy I am I let him. He would sleep all day and sniff ass and drink all night. Then a few days turned into a week and a week into a month. He had no job and no money. So I got fed up with him and kicked him out on the streets. I felt bad but I had to do it. I had not heard from him in over a week. Then I got a call from the pound asking me to identify a body. So I went. The dead body was Ralph . He had killed himself with his own choke chain. He had no family and no friends but me so I was sad for a few days.

Crunk Chris B.

Poppy Rose died on August 4, 1990. She was the only family I've ever really had. She loved me and I loved her. Now she is gone. My bastard father put her to sleep, and although he promised I could go, he left without me. I have hated him for it ever since. He killed my best friend. At least I know that Poppy will be happier in doggie heaven, than on earth with me. My bastard father used to beat my beloved Poppy.

Rest in peace, my darling.

Julie

REVENGE SWEET REVENGE

Starring Steve Buscemi as Mean Dad.

Stop staring at me, or I will be forced to crush you.

Big Chair. Little Dog.

June 13, 2000 - September 13, 2000

Killer had a short but fruitful life. He was loved by all who knew him. Except little girls. They wouldn't touch him cause he was so damn ugly. No, Killer never got laid. He was to young and never got the chance. Killer died from eating too many jackrabbits. Stupid dog! Killer will be sorely missed.

Aaron

We got gizmo in 1983 for $10 (Canadian) from the neighborhood whore-dog who was always spitting out puppies. He got stoned with us once, and started attacking peoples nuts for a few minutes, then he just plopped down and went to sleep. One time we were out in the backyard with him, when a blimp flew over the field behind out house. As soon as he caught a glimpse of it he took off running after it, looking up and barking. He ran into the wooden fence at the end of our yard and knocked himself unconscious. His name was Gizmo, not Einstein. He lived to be nearly 16 years old, until he went deaf and blind, and got throat cancer and we had to put him down.

We'll miss him.

Greg Hann

A Proseful Ditty by Justin Hughes
Sung to the tune of "You Can't Kill Michael Malloy" In B minor

Milly was a small dog,
who made noises like a
pissed off warthog.
One day she ran away
and Josh didn't know where.

Josh got scared
and was haunted
by dreams in the night
as Milly died slowly.

She was small and old
sorry my poem sucks so much and
it doesn't even rhyme I should be shot
and some people hated her because
she was an annoying bitch of a dog
sometimes.

But she was sick too,
and she had to take medication.
doobt.

From High Life To Sky High

My Golden Retriever named Triever passed away 2 years ago. He was the sweetest dog, full of love and affection. He always had a smile and a lick for anyone who would let him, probably because he was always high. I miss him dearly. I found him running down the beach with his family, and he was the only one left because he was the runt. That and the fact that he kept lagging behind because he just wouldn't part with that trusty bong the tide brought in one fateful day. He grew to be 100 lbs. and beautiful, but then God made him sick with cancer. He was born the summer of 1984 and passed away in the fall of 1996.

Sparrow

I can't believe I'm fucking dead! This blows!

Lego : 1987 - 1997

My Dog's name was Lego, She was the most beautiful dog in the world. She was born in 1987 and died 1997. We brought her home from the pound when She was 1 year old. I loved her so much. Every time I got home she would be dancing on the door and really happy. She would sleep on my bed next to me, and chase squirrels and play with the neighborhood dogs. She loved walks and going to our cabin and farm. She lived to be ten years old. Then when I took her for a walk, She broke free of her collar and ran across the street to get hit by a car. I screamed and ran over and picked her up, then went into the house crying my heart out. She sat in my lap and was barely alive. Then a neighbor and my grandma got a hold of my parents, while she slowly died in my lap. But just then she jerked her head up at me. As if to say goodbye. Then she put her head down and I knew she had gone to Doggie Heaven. We buried her at the cabin, Where she loved to run and play. I'll miss you Lego, Until I join you up there in the sky.

JonHawk

My dog Max died on July 9, 1997. He was hit by a car. He threw himself in front of the car and committed suicide because he couldn't stand my grandmother, who came to live with us. She would constantly bug my dog with "ARE YOU SLEEPING MAX!!!" while he was peacefully laying in front of the furnace napping. This made him crazy, and that's how he decided to commit suicide. If he could write, I know I would have found a suicide note reading: "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!!!"

Alanis
What is it now, you withered bitch?