The kill a clown is HELLA funny! You guys have a BOMB page!! I fuck with everyone when I send postcards!

Have a good one!

Stephanie

Sir, The Zooass Jackass arrived today. Thanks for such prompt delivery!!! Thanks, also, for letting me know about his drinking problem...I will definitely keep the liquor out of his reach. I don't have any Breathe-Right strips, but if his snoring gets to loud I'll give them a try. Right now he is sitting on top of my monitor and hopefully he can stay out of trouble there!!! Thanks!!! Sue

Joel,

Thank you for your contribution. We will feature your e-mail in the Zooass Testimonials section so that the 2500+ people who visit our web site daily can see what a great speller you are. By the way, you spelled "worry" wrong in the sentence that comes directly after, "...I do know how to spell and probably better than you".

Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, and Happy Kwanza,

JB

At 04:27 PM 3/2/98 -0500, Joel wrote:
In the first place I probably have a better sense of humor than you. Those jokes about other religions I discarded without reading. Telling jokes about yourself is one thing, but when it comes from someone of another religion, it's not funny. Unfortunately, people like you have to tell dirty jokes or jokes about other people for it to be funny.
Think back when you had comedians that told jokes that were not offensive, and those comedians lasted until they died.
The ones that rely on offensive jokes last a short time.
It so happens I do know how to spell and probably better than you. You don't have to wory about coming back to zooass. There a lot better sites for humor than yours.
Shalom,
Joel

At 10:24 AM 3/2/98 -0500, JB wrote:
Joel,

You have been on the joke of the day list since 12/31/97 and haven't made one complaint about any of the Italian, Polish, or Catholic jokes. Then you have the gall to complain about a Jewish joke. If you can't laugh at yourself you have a very poor sense of humor and shouldn't even be on a joke list. I am more than happy to remove your address from our database, and please do not return to Zooass.com Also, I am offended that for a Jew you don't even know how to spell Semitic!!!

Good day,

John Brithenstein
mailto: jb @ zooass

At 03:22 PM 3/1/98 -0500, Joel wrote:
I found that so called joke offensive, disgusting, and Anti-Senitic. I therefore want my name off your list. Even though you didn't write it, someone in your organization got it on the Web.

Your mail to me is addressed to I don't know how it gets to me, but I DON'T WISH TO RECEIVE IT!!!!

Shalom,
Joel

To almighty grand Webmaster of zooass:

I'd like to say you have the hands down funniest site I've seen on the 'net. And I'd also like to pass on an idea i have: For the Celebrity Cannon, you can have the Hansen "Girls" and fire them out of it...but have something more....Rapid-fire Hansen. Have all three of them fire out one by one and splatter one after another. I know that this will take some major programming, but i think it would be hilarious because, well, Hansen sucks.

A major zooass fan,
}{eretic

Almighty Jokemaster...
Thanks for keeping my thoughts absent and making me want more of your jokes.
More than just once a day...
Forever laughing,
Julie

hey, you guys are awesome..LMAO...what an awesome site..you should be chosen for some awards or something..do you have any awards???

cathy

You have got one killer site. Personally, I've spent the last 69 consecutive hours working my way through many truly sick and evil pages of jokes, games, story and what not. And to the idiots who have a problem with your site, "Go Fuc* yourself!" Life is no longer for fluffly, kind, politically correct, cutesy-woosy freaks. Life's a mean, cruel, tough, unforgiving bitch and I like pages that don't try to ignore that fact.

Bye !!

Truly a wonderfully funny and interesting site..!!!! Good Job:) I will continue to browze and laugh my ass off:) Thanks
Shakti

Hey-
My name is Kat. And your sight kicks ***. Well anyway...Are there anymore kewl sights like this?

Kat:)

i know were you live god damit!!!!!!!!ill shove your mouth so far down your throut you will have to site on a hambuger to eat it!!!!!

I wake up every morning just to get that e-mail from you...........(yes, I lead a pathetic life and I'm blonde to boot)

D. Cecil

We went to the door today and the mailman handed us an ass -- Thanks for the prompt shipment. We love the little jackass--Also like the Zooass site very much--Keep it up and keep it funny. Thanks again---------Bob&Sue.

Bartender,
All I can say is WOW! I have been part of this club for only two weeks and I'm just writing to commend you on the great first two drinks and keep up the great work.
I tried the sweet tart last week adn I'm going to try this weeks drink tonight. I guess I'm so excited because I'm used to the conventional boring stuff.
Anyway, Thanks!!
Kirsten

u requested a death threat...well i'm just curious, how close are u to that window just down the hall. Tell ya what, go to the window, and look to see who's outside with a rifle...that's me...

P.S. give me at least 3 seconds to get your head in the crosshairs..wouldn't want to do a half-ass job. Thanx

i love your web site, but i think you should have more stuff on it. with more celebrity shooting and cannon shootings. that would be cool. you should shoot pee wee hermen out of a cannon some time.

You guys are the shit! This is the FUNNIEST site on the internet!!!! I SWEAR!!! All my friends love this site also! Kepp up the good work!
Jani

I am so sorry about Harry, I know that if I had a hermit I would never let him out of my site. I would let him sleep with me, eat with me, and why not, fondle me. Hmm, just imagine what those little clamps could do to a womans body. =)

Deidre

Yo! wassup? wassup? this is tazzy and i just want to comment your page that it is so goddamn fuckin' cool! really awesome! i love everything in it! anywayz i have to go... just dropped by to say how much i appreciated your page oki bye!!!

p.s. reply pls!

YOUR SITE ................
R O C K S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice Page keep up the good work!

Hey, had that happen to me. Damn those motha fuckers stink when they die...
:)

just had to say 10x
hadn't laughed so hard in a long time
the "The Poopie List" joke is 1 of the best i have ever read
:-)
Offer Levy
Israel

I recieved a forward from a friend ...... I think this is really neat stuff, a bit depressing if you have a psycosomatic problem anyway, but neat!!!!!!
Ruth Isom

Hey Guys:

First i would like to coment you on your incredible site and vast knowlege of alcohol and its need to be consumed in quatity. Secondly the site is well done and a real eye catcher. thanks for giving some real light humor and needed drink information to someone who can appreciate it. Thanks a mil have a great life and keep that elbow loose and well worked.

Alex Picton Ontario

To anyone that wants to hear this. But I love this site. It is one of the best sites on the net. I usually visit it about once a day. Well that is all I have to say for now. Thank you for having such a great site.
Sherry.

This site is hilarious! Thank you!

I LOVE the ZOOASS site!!! I put a link to it from my IRC chatroom homepage .

Have a great day!

Laura (APHsGirl)

Celene Dion!!!!!!!! Also, how about Cindy Crawford and Boys To Men?
Elf

this site is really cool !

Zooass is the coolest sight I have stumbled across yet. THANKS!!!!!

Subject: Praise

I came to find your site though another site and I tell you I love the Toy Server I love all theneat stuff you have there.
Thank you so much .

Your website kicks some royal ass!! I like it a LOT!!

You are the greatest, I bow to your greatness. Sign "The True Henchman"

Hello, Zooass Dude !!

My name is Pamela or Tigger as I am known by my friends, I am not selling anything, This is not a chain letter I just wanted to tell you how much I like your site. The endless amount of laughs I have brought to others thanks to you & your site have been many!! You have an enjoyable sense of humour and you must have quite an imagination to respond To some of the Questions Mr Penis gets..

I have just gotten my own webpage up..(and let me tell you it took a heap of coaxing(grin) It's not much but it is mine and I have put a link to your site on it.. Now I hope it is okay that I did this without asking or telling you first.. If you want me to take it down, I will.. I am new to the web. Thus I'm really not sure how to go about these things and thought it best to at least let you know.

This is my site http://mypage.direct.ca/g/grumpy/Index.html It's only a personal webpage with a bit about me and what I do, a 3d computer artist (all very Ho Hum) and still under construction.

Thanks for letting me ramble.. Have a great day..and Keep *up* the great jokes!!

Tigger =)

this place kicks ass!!!!!!!!!!!!

as far as Harry is concerned---i could give a fuck! down with crabs!!! they always make me itch, so sorry if I am not sympathetic----seems like you would be glad to get rid of him anyways--i can't seem to get rid of MINE.....well bye
ps---does naming your crabs make you feel closer to them?? i might try it.........

Subject: for Jenny the aquatic dream lover

beautiful poetry.....i wept at the sheer simplicity and utter sincerity of the heartfelt emotions that so obviously overcame the writer...............We will all miss Jenny, for she has affected the lives of even those who never knew her..........Jenny, we love you <:(
<*((((((<< here is a companion to cure those fishy heaven blues

Roses are Red.

Violets are Blue.

Zooass you and me

make the wiredest dreams come true. . .

* I am just ducky about the entire site.*