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Title:
Sweet Tards
Text:
Unwrap for a delicious treat! Let's Get Retarded!
Contents:
A sweet treat for those "special" occasions. Open the wrapper to release the tards. Then click 'em to hear 'em speak... sort of.
Caffeine not working for you? Try the other alternative that comes from a plant... cocaine!
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Title:
Fried Rat
Text:
Man Bites Chicken, Gets Fried Rat
Contents:
After many months of waiting patiently, we finally have a sequel to the chicken head story! This time it seems that a furry friend from the bowels of Baltimore decided to take a swim in the deep fryer at a Popeye's fast food joint. Now that's good eatin'!
Member Bonus:
The sight and sounds of fried freaks rocking you like you've never been rocked before.
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with a Leprechaun? A Mexichaun of course! Donde están mis Lucky Charms? Keep clicking til you find all 8 animations!
1. A friend that can't find their way down a one-way street?
2. A buddy that couldn't get laid in a whore house?
3. Someone you just don't like?
Sure you do! That's why you need to send them this postcard.
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Title:
Leprechaun Launch
Text:
Zooass.com's Leprechaun Launch
Contents:
Step right up and grab a hammer! Ring the bell and win yourself a Guiness! A carnival "strong man" game featuring our old friend the leprechaun. Play to hear all 8 sayings and win all 6 prizes!
Why rope cattle when you can lasso a bikini clad beauty and mount her on your saddle horn? Welcome to the Zooass Hodeo!
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Title:
Black Ass
Text:
Kiss My Black Ass
Contents:
Say how you truly feel by sending a friend one blonde farm girl with her lips on a black ass.
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Title:
Love Me Chicken Tender
Text:
Zooass.com
Contents:
We've all heard about the tasty deep fried chicken head found in a box of McDonald's chicken wings. But what they didn't tell you was that the crusty creature could sing a mean Elvis!
Learn more about the infamous chicken head: article 1 | article 2 | article 3
Member Bonus:
hear and see the chicken head cluck to wedding song favorite, The Chicken Dance!
Through the miracle of modern day science, Zooass can make the smallest cock into a monster.
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Title:
Little Bo Poop 2.0
Text:
Bo Poop. I pinched a loaf at Zooass.
Contents:
They say there's a black sheep in every flock. We say there's a brown one... and Little Bo Poop is about to lose hers! Version 2.0 features four different movements including Corn on the Cob, Really Rabbit and Wet 'n' Wild!
Greetings from Zooass Obedience School - Teaching Your Pets the Very Best!
Contents:
At Zooass Obedience School, we take the time to teach your pets more valuable things than how to sit and roll over...
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Title:
Wasted Pussy
Text:
Having an intoxicating time at Zooass.com
Contents:
Some assume that Zooass hates cats based on our Kick the Kitty game. Not true. In fact, Zooass is the number one supplier of beer and cigarettes to animal shelters across the country. Here is one such puss who lives the good life thanks to us!
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Title:
Hole In One
Text:
I Got a Hole In One at Zooass.com
Contents:
Experience the sights and sounds of a golf ball being driven into the elusive 19th hole.
This little piggy has obviously had too much beer!
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Title:
Gender Bender
Text:
Where the Action is!
Contents:
Bikini clad ladies walking on the beach. Touch the picture to see the frolicking fairies.
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Title:
Boys Will Be Boys
Contents:
Even at an early age, men are trying to get up a girl's skirt.
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Title:
Cool Breeze
Text:
Enjoying the Breeze at Zooass.com
Contents:
A tribute to the Great American Pin-up Girl! A nice cool breeze can be pleasantly uplifting... in this case quite literally!
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Title:
What a Trip!
Text:
Zooass.com... what a trip!
Contents:
Come take a ride on the Zooass Magic Mystery Bus.
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Animated GIF
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Title:
Daydreaming
Text:
Daydreaming at Zooass.com
Contents:
Ever wonder what your pet was thinking about?
Format:
Animated GIF
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Title:
Flying Pig
Text:
Home of the Flying Pigs! Zooass.com
Contents:
Little piggy makes a daring escape from the bacon farm.
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Title:
Fishy Fish
Text:
Thinking of You
Contents:
A man sniffing fish. Kinda reminds him of his wife.
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Title:
Pit Sniffs
Text:
100% Pure Stink
Contents:
Women testing the power of Zooass Gel™ in our very own armpit sniffing lab. Featuring German superstar Das Rougonbach. [The Hairyback]
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Title:
Zooass Messiah
Text:
The Divine Guide
Contents:
There are only two ways for travelers, and Jesus offers the only safe choice. Touch the picture to find salvation.
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Title:
Claw-Footed Jackalope
Text:
Support Nuclear Energy. Zooass Species Generation Project.
Contents:
Hundreds of species become extinct every year. We believe in countering these numbers by haphazardly operating nuclear power plants throughout the world. Behold our newest mutation!
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