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A Democratic strategist assumes room temperature and finds himself at
the Pearly Gates. The strategist is taken inside Heaven by St. Peter
and given a guided tour. He's led into one huge room that is full of
millions of clocks, and he notices a clock with his name on it that
has stopped. St. Peter explains that everyone has a clock that counts
down the seconds of their life, and when someone dies, their clock
stops.
The strategist is fascinated by all this but when he examines all of
the other clocks, he notices that some of the clocks' second hands are
moving faster than others. St. Peter explains that every time someone
tells a lie, which is a sin, they lose part of their life, so their
clock's second hand ends up moving faster.
The Democratic strategist looks around but doesn't see Bill Clinton's
clock, so he asks St. Peter where it is. "Oh," answers St. Peter,
"that's being used as a ceiling fan."
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