1- I do physical labor. 2- I work at great depths. 3- I plunge head first into everything I do. 4- I do not get weekends or public holidays off. 5- I work in a damp environment. 6- I don't get paid overtime. 7- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. 8- I work in high temperatures. 9- My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

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Dear Penis,

After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

1- You cannot work 8 hours straight. 2- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods. 3- You rarely follow the orders of the management team. 4- You do not stay in your designated work area and are often seen visiting other locations. 5- You do not take initiative. You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. 6- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. 7- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective gear. 8- You will retire well before you are 65. 9- You are unable to work double shifts. 10- More often than not, you leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task. 11- If the ten reasons listed above are not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely, The Management

Submitted by Zena.