Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. --Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

Beauty is only a light switch away. --Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards. --Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?" --Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.

God made pot. Man made beer. Whom do you trust? --The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. --The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. --Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry. --Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. --Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.

Make love, not war.--Hell, do both, get married! --Women's restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.

God is dead. -Nietzsche; Nietzsche is dead. -God --The Tombs Restaurant. Washington, D.C.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. --Revolution Books. New York, New York.

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it. --Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.

Submitted by Brian