Money's Short Times are Hard Here's your Fucking Christmas Card

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse

mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass I'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass

when out on the lawn I heard such a clatter I sprung from my piece to see what's the matter

then out on the lawn I saw a big dick I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell I knew in a moment the old fucker fell

he filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer

he rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart the son of a bitch blew the chimney apart

he swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight piss on you all and have a good night

- Have a nice Christmas, asshole