Silly gay men. Always sticking things up their butts. The thrill of insertion is short lived, however, when the damn things just won't come out! Then it's off to the hospital and out with the excuses. "I slipped in the shower and fell on a lemon!" Understandable. Many of us prefer to keep our fruits and vegetables in the bottom of a dirty tub instead of the refrigerator... What to do? What to do? The answer is simple.

Put on your latex gloves and prepare to operate! It is up to you, Doctor, to remove a medley of foreign objects from your gay patient's buttocks! But don't touch the sides! And watch out for those evil dingleberries! Each successful operation gets you one more color of the gay rainbow and one step closer to a happy ending. A very happy ending.

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3 levels	6 levels
	Bonus scene

Snag items from your patient's buttocks when lined up with a hole. Don't touch the sides! Your patient will lose health every time you do and will eventually die of anal trauma. Place retrieved objects on the biohazard sign for proper disposal.

Remove all items within the alotted time period or your patients will go into rectal shock. Watch out for dingleberries, which will rob you of your time. Save all six patients and enjoy your happy ending.

An Anal Artifact

A Pesky Dingleberry

Biohazard Contained

The game of Gay Operation was first conceptualized back in the winter of '93, where it graced the pages of The Sir Times. This was back in the day when typewriters were king and "cut and paste" involved scissors and a glue stick. Click here to take a look!

Once upon a time we had a silly Gay Operation contest and Jason from New Orleans won a $100 probing for ass cash! Click on the image to the right to listen to the phone call we made to alert him of his prize.

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Believe it or not, the objects rammed into one's bowels actually have a medical designation. They have been coined "Foreign Rectal Bodies." Studies on the subject have appeared in many a medical journal.

A German medical weekly called "Der Spiegel" (The Mirror) tells us:

Especially to doctors active in the treatment of genital and anal diseases, nothing else can bring more waves of joy to them than the description of "how manifold objects are inserted with stimulatory intention". In the urethra the surgeon is likely to have an encounter with cables, hairpins, pairs of tweezers or matches, whereas he is most likely to find light bulbs, garden fruits, toothbrushes and bottles in the rectum.

The German medical magazine "Zeitschrift fuer Gastroenterologie" (Magazine for Gastroenterology) reveals the retrievance of a:

...wrapped umbrella, a toolbox with contents and (in one case from the Bavarian agriculture) a frozen pigtail.

"More News of the Weird" by Shepard, Kohut and Sweet reports:

An Australian medical journal reported on items that had been removed from the rectums of men at local hospitals and gave some men's explanations. A man with a jar of petroleum jelly in his rectum said he inserted it to remove itchiness. A 63-year-old man said he slipped in the shower and landed on a lemon. A 45-year-old man said he also had slipped in the shower and landed on a plastic bicycle handle grip.

A report in a 1987 medical journal describes the case of surgery performed on a 20-year-old man who walked into an emergency room after his lover had given him an enema containing concrete mix. The surgeons marveled after moving the concrete cast of the rectum–perfect, they wrote, except for a chipping at one end, which, when further probed, revealed a white plastic Ping-Pong ball, which they speculated was used to "retain the enema."

The article, "Rectal Foreign Bodies: Case Reports and a Comprehensive Review of the World's Literature" by David B. Busch and James R. Starling found in the September, 1986 issue of Surgery Magazine include reports of, among other items:

seven light bulbs; a knife sharpener; two flashlights; a wire spring; a snuff box; an oil can with potato stopper; eleven different forms of fruits, vegetables and other foodstuffs; a jeweler's saw; a frozen pig's tail; a tin cup; a beer glass; and one patient's remarkable ensemble collection consisting of spectacles, a suitcase key, a tobacco pouch and a magazine.

Here are more fascinating excerpts from the article:

The surgical management of two patients presenting with incarcerated, apparently self-inserted foreign bodies is reported. The large volume of prior literature on this subject is reviewed, with tabulation of 182 previous cases by type and number of objects recovered and with a discussion of patients' age distribution, history, complications and prognosis.

Table I Previously reported recovered foreign bodies:
[ed. note: list has been appended to reflect recently found documentation.]

Object                             Number Recovered

Glass or ceramic
   - Bottle or jar                       31
   - Bottle with attached rope            1
   - Glass or cup                        12
   - Light bulb                           7
   - Tube                                 6
Food
   - Apple                                1
   - Banana                               2
   - Carrot                               4
   - Cucumber                             3
   - Onion                                2
   - Parsnip                              1
   - Plantain (with condom)               1
   - Potato                               1
   - Salami                               1
   - Turnip                               1
   - Zucchini                             2
Wooden
   - Ax handle                            1
   - Stick or broom handle               10
   - Miscellaneous or unspecified         3
Sexual Device
   - Vibrator                            23*
   - Dildo                               15
Kitchen device
   - Dull knife                           1
   - Ice pick                             1
   - Knife sharpener                      1
   - Mortar pestle                        2
   - Spatula (plastic)                    1
   - Spoon                                1
   - Tin cup                              1
Miscellaneous tools
   - Candle                               1
   - Curling Iron                         1
   - Flashlight                           3
   - Iron rod                             1
   - Pen                                  2
   - Rubber tube                          1
   - Screwdriver                          1
   - Toothbrush                           1
   - Wire spring                          1
Inflated device
   - Balloon                              1
   - Balloon attached to cylinder         1
   - Condom                               1
Ball
   - Baseball                             2
   - Tennis ball                          1
   - Pool cue ball                        1
Miscellaneous containers
   - Baby powder can                      1
   - Candle box                           1
   - Shampoo Bottle                       1
   - Snuff box                            1
Miscellaneous
   - Bottle cap **                        1
   - Cattle horn                          3
   - Chain (gold)                         1
   - Frozen pig's tail                    1
   - "Kangaroo tumor" #                   1
   - Hair Mousse Cap                      1
   - Plastic rod                          1
   - Stone                                2
   - Toothbrush holder                    1
   - Toothbrush package                   1
   - Whip handle                          2*
Collections (one case of each)
  - 2 Glass tubes
  - 72 1/2 Jeweler's saw
  - Oil can with potato stopper
  - Piece of wood, peanut
  - Umbrella handle and enema tubing
  - 2 Glasses
  - Phosphorus match ends (homicide)
  - 402 Stones
  - Toolbox ##
  - 2 Bars soap
  - Beer glass and preserving pot
  - Lemon and cold cream jar
  - 2 Apples
  - Spectacles, suitcase key, tobacco pouch, and
    magazine
  - ... total of 14 collections, with approximately
        500 objects

* number may be larger (text unclear)
**cannot exclude ingestion
# unique case of pedunculated perianal skin tumor
  habitually inserted into rectum
##inside a convict; contained saws and other items
  usable in escape attempts.

CASE REPORTS

Case 1. A 39-year-old married white male lawyer presented with a self- inserted perfume bottle in his rectum that he was unable to remove using various objects, including a back scratcher. He had inserted this bottle on previous occasions. Edema of the rectum and sigmoid colon precluded the successful manual removal of the object in the emergency room. A pelvic x-ray film (Fig.1) showed the object to be lodged 12 cm proximal to the dentate line. The 3 by 17 cm object, "Impulse Body Spray," was removed manually after a spinal anesthetic. The patient was discharged on the second postoperative day. He refused psychologic counseling.

Case 2. A 39-year-old white male was admitted to the University Hospital psychiatric service for evaluation of a 2-week history of bloody diarrhea and auditory hallucinations. Rectal examination revealed a foreign body approximately 3 cm above the anal verge. An x- ray film (Fig. 2) showed that it was 20 cm in length. The object could not be removed by manual or endoscopic means. The patient consented to extraction of the dildo under general anesthetic. Biopsy specimens of the hemorrhagic rectal mucosa were performed and were negative on Ziehl-Neelson stains for mycobacterial or cryptosporidium infection. The patient was discharged without complications the following day.

For More Information

Want to know more about what flamboyant men or wacky women have inserted into their buttocks? Here are some places to look:

• Rectal Foreign Bodies - Includes articles and x-rays. The best site on the subject that we found!
• eMedicine.com - Cut and dry, but features some good x-rays nonetheless! Requires free registration, but unfortunately you can't supersize the pics unless you join.
  • Foreign Bodies, Rectum
  • Gastrointestinal Foreign Bodies
  • Foreign Body Rectum
• eMJA (The Medical Journal of Australia) - Searching the bibliography from eMedicine led us to some more photos!

If you happen to come across any additional web sites or articles (that are not included already on the sites above), please send a message to the Zooass Staff and let us know!

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