It may have sucked at the time but it is downright amusing now, isnt it? This forum is the place to share your real-life horror stories. Your tales of misfortune will delight and enlighten generations to come!http://www.zooass.com/forum/list.php?7Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:48:50 -0500 Phorum 5.2.8 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,15328,15328#msg-15328 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,15328,15328#msg-15328
I had the most embarrasing moments anyone could have had but one of still makes laugh like hell. it was during my stay at the hotel. one day i was going down in the elevator when another person whom i havent met until then started talking to me.He asked 'How are you?" and I answered "Fine" surprised at it. He then asked me "What else are you up to" and i replied "nothing". Finally he turned to me and said "Do You Mind I Am On The Phone"!!.It was then that i realized he was talking on his Mobile. - Anonymous
I was at church and I was singing a solo in front of the WHOLE church and went to sneeze and insted farted and the pastor was right behind me I farted in his face the SOOOOOO embarrassing. - Anonymous
I once was singing in the shower ,and my brother got into my bathroom and recorded me singin "I singin in the rain"and i didn't know he was recording me and @ my godsisters party my aunt told him 2 get a cd or tape and play it so my brother got the tape he recorded me with and played it in front of 50 people! I was so embarrassed! - Anonymous
One time when I was out clubbing I needed to go to the toilet but they were very dirty. I decided to do the hovering trick but as I was mid-urination I slipped on the wet floor face first on to the floor and wedged my head between the door and the floor I couldnt reach my knickers to pull them up and the fire brigade had to be called to cut me out of the door. Mortification. - Dublin
I was at the laundrymat and my biggest crush was there and i dropped my dirty barbie underwear that i can still wear on the floor and he saw it drop and picked them up and started laughing and told everybody in my whole school i was soo embarassed...i switched schools i was soo embarassed. - Anonymous
I was standing up on the school bus because there were no seats, when the busdriver suddenly put the brakes on. I flew through the air down to the front of the bus and landed on my face. I stood up,slipped over on the wet surface and fell straight back down again. Then, I grabbed something to pull myself up with, and let go straight away because it was some girl's breast. I was so embarrassed that I got off the bus at the next stop and walked the rest of the way to school and got detention for being 50 minutes late! - Anonymous
I went to the tanning bed for the first time for only 10 minutes and I came out with little red bumps all over me and they burned really really bad. and I could never figure out why and then I was talking to my friend ryan who works there and the stuff that I sprayed on my body that I thought was water was actually cleaning solution that they clean the beds with - Wes
I went out to eat for the first time with my girlfriend's parents. We when to this really nice restaurant in Winston-Salem. Everything goes just fine as far as me being a good guy and having a decent future. I tried my best to somewhat make an impressive first impression on them. After we order our food my girlfriend's mom decides to go to the restroom. This makes me think about it and then i decide to go a couple of minutes later. So i walk to the restrooms and go in. I look in the mirror first then looking down at my belt as i unfasten it i push the first stall door open. To my great surprise my girlfriend's mom is sitting on the toilet with her dress down and everything. I almost had a heart attack. This was by far the most embarrassing moment in my entire life.
Once day at school, i decided to get something out of my locker during a study period. This doesn't sound too bad, except that I was too busy looking at the clock to see when the class ended to look where I was going. I ended up walking straight into the doorway, and it shook half the classroom! To make it worse, the teacher supervising the study asked me if i was finished trying to demolish the classroom yet, so the rest of the class that hadn't seen me make an idiot of myself got to hear about it. I wouldn't say that was one of my better moments... - Anonymous, Australia
One time i went to this party and i was wrecked and i came out the bathroom with my pants unzipped and my piece hangin out and i was just walkin around with adults and i didnt no it was out. - Anonymous
i was really hot and saw that my a house a little far from my house had a pool, and i was little so i thought i was superman and i thought i could fly there and jumped out the window and only got to the grass two stories down but im okay i got cooled of by the mud. - Anonymous
I'd have to say that my most embarrasing moment was when i was at my church youth group with my friends. (including this guy that i thought i was in love with) We were sitting outside and i had to sneeze.I think we all have this problem occasionally..but when i went to sneeze i farted as well..Then i tried to play it cool..by acting like nothing had happend..I could have swore the guy i liked heard me but he didnt say anything. Wow. it was terrible and my face turned bright red. - Anonymous
When I was in like 2nd grade, I was playing on the jungle gym and i had to make #2. so i asked the teacher(it was a christian school)if i could use the bathroom, and she said "no". And i had to go really bad at that point, so i tried to hold it in. but, i couldnt, i was only like 6. i tried everything to not let people notice, but it was kindof hard to. so i tried to stay in the bathroom the whole day, that didnt work. the teachers were mean. so were the kids. that followed all the way to 5th grade,until i move to florida. but kids used to call me smelly lump ass. it was so embarising. my brother still teases me about it. - Anonymous
my class waz having a play and I got a really big part as the sun.I wore I a skirt and sandals I had to stand on top of a chair my friends had to throw a net on top of me next thing I knew I was flying threw the air in the arms of two cute boys but that wasn't the worst part my skirt flew over my head how embarrassing huh later me and my friends laugh about it. ha ha ha ha ha! - Anonymous
Went to Six Flags many years ago, had been their most of the day, was getting tired, we were standing in line, and the line was long, I decided to lean on my husband and as i did so i said man am i tired, about fifteen minutes go by and i see my husband and daughter in front of me and all the while this man a stranger was letting me lean on him and his wife was on the other side of him. To make matters worse when we got to our destination i got seated beside the mans wife, and i grabed her hand. I bet those poor people were mortified, i know that i was. lol - Anonymous
I was new to my school and I was so nervous. The day was the best day I had ever had,though. I got two friends named Alicia and Jessica and a really hott date named Brendan. He was the most perfect guy I had ever met, let alone date! He asked me to go to the school dance and meet him there. I wanted to look good so I wore a wrap skirt and a tight pink tank top. As my mom dropped me off, I saw my friends and my date. They waved at me and I waved back, but as I slammed the car door shut, my skirt got caught and my mom not knowing, drove away. My skirt got wripped off and I was in such shock that I just stood in the middle of the road in my pink, see through thing! My friends pointed and laughed as well as Brendan. I started crying and started runing down the highway crying. It was sorta in the middle of nowhere so I has nowhere to go but the highway! I sat down and cried. A few cars honked. After about ten minutes of sitting on the highway in my thing, Brendan came running while pulling off his pants. He gave me his pants and walked me home in his boxers. Other than that I was so embaressed! - Anonymous
hi my name is shelby and im gonna tell you my dumb moment. My friend tiffany has a video camera and we were trying to make a movie like the one called orange county, well in that movie a boy trying to get in to college doesnt make it so hes out side and he just steps in to the pool and falls to the bottom, well he has a brother who is a drug head,and a complete idiot, and he runs out in his underwear ( whitey tighties) and socks, and says "ill save you" takes his socks off and jumps in the pool and while hes in the air he kicks his feet really fast! well my friend had a pair of grany panties and i put the on and socks and a braw and she was like "ugh my life is ruined" and falls into her pool and then you see me run out in my underwear and jump in the pool after her.Well while we were in the pool her brother and his friend justin were walking home from the nieghbors and snuck up on us and seen what i was wearing and told every one and i felt sooo stupid!!!! - Anonymous
In third grade when I was playing unclesam when my best friend came after me so I backed up, tripped, and fell into a big whole of mud. I automatically started balling. After I got up I went to the bathroom to wash off the mud on my face. When I came out, everyone was laughing!!! - Anonymous
Well one time i bent over to get a pencil that dropped and farted right in a hott guys face! Another time i was sitting down in the gym at school and someone came behind me and there pants got stuck to my thong and it broke when he was pulling his leg away. Another time i was at cactus canyon and i was really getting into the music and dancing and stuff then all of a sudden my bra came off! It fell on the floor and everyone saw it! I was so humiliated i had to leave but as i was walking out if the club i was trying to put it back on and my skirt flew up it just really wasn't my day that day i guess! - Anonymous
It was my Junior prom. and I was very excited. It was finally my turn for pictures with my friends. The photographer was positioning us and decided that I should be the one to lay on the ground. My dress was very low cut, and as soon as I got on the ground my boob fell out of my dress. I had no idea it happened until he took a picture. Someone waiting in line finally yelled to me to put it away. but it was too late. - Anonymous
I had a huge crush on this boy named Tyler and everybody thought I was crazy because I was really popular and he wasn't. Then one day we had pizza for lunch so i guess tyler had really bad gas because when he asked me out he farted and blew a huge hole in his pants i didn't notice because i was to excited that he was finally asking me out but everyone else did and of course i said yes and everyone started laughing at me and saying that i was making a huge mistake - kayla
The Friday before Spring Break, I was in 3rd period as usual. It was April Fools and everyone was playing jokes on each other. Well, sometime in the beginning of 3rd period, my pants rip. They ripped right on the butt crack all the way down the seem. Everyone in my class saw it. My crush who sat right next to me saw it. I was clueless. At the end of the period a classmate of mine came up to me and said, " Katelyn, you have a really big rip in your pants." So, I rushed to the bathroom. As I'm looking at my butt, a girl says to me, "You've got a BIG problem." So, my friend Sara and I ran down to the locker room so I could change into my P.E. clothes. Keep in mind that my 3rd and 4th per. are blocked, so the kids in my 3rd per. are in my 4th. We get to class, and someone says, " So, did you get that hole fixed?" I have lunch in the middle of that class, so when I get back from lunch, I look at my seat and realize that I'd been sitting in gum the whole time. - Katelyn
ok a couple of years ago in school i went to the bathroom when school was over and this janitor says "is anyone in here?" i said no but i guess he didnt hear me so he turned off the lights and closed the door. i got so scared i ran to the door and started banging on it..he finally opened it with his keys and said i asked if anyone was in therre....when he pened the door there was like a whole bunch of kids right by the door staring at me most of em were boys too!! a couple of them laughed and one boy said what an idiot. - melissa,age 12
SUPERMAN: I finally met a guy that I really liked I mean really liked, We had so much fun together and I really thought that he could be the one. Anyway it was right around the time that the movie the sixth sense came out and he and I were laying in his room talking and making out a little. Now you have to understand that we were both still really trying to impress the other one so everything that we did around or with each other mattered a lot I didn't want to do anything stupid to mess it up and neither did he. So anyway back to the making out. When we were laying there I thought I heard something upstairs and I said "did you hear that"? and he responded with ya we have ghosts well after seeing that movie I got really freaked out and decided it was time to go home so I said "I better go" after about 10 min of him begging me to stay I finally convinced him that it was a good Idea for me to go home because I was meeting all of his friends for the first time. So I got up and put my shoes on and started out just so you all know I am night blind, when it's dark I can't see my hand in front of my face and since I am such a nice person I didn't want to turn on the lights and wake up the whole house so I started out for the door by feeling walls I hit the second stair and Ryan yelled oh my gosh Leesa did you hear that and me being so freaked out by the ghosts took off running back into his room I was running so fast and so hard and was so scared that when I got into the room I jumped for the bed not realizing where I was because it was so dark I went flying with my arms back just like superman right into the wall I hit face on I was so embarrassed just hoping that he didn't see I didn't even realize how bad I was hurt I was just concerned with what he would think then it started he was laughing so hard he was gasping for air, come to find out I gave myself a bloody nose, a huge goose egg on my head, a black eye and a fat upper lip (which is way worse than a fat bottom lip) I was so messed up and I had to meet his friends for the first time looking like I got the crap beat out of me it was great but everything worked out we have been together ever since and I still have the nickname SUPERMAN.
A few years ago (when i was at school), my friend Heather and I were waiting at the bus stop after a long day shopping. Some older boys caught our attention, and naturally we began flicking our hair and giggling, trying to impress them. I think we were beginning to succeed in our quest when i felt something wet drip onto my head... yes you guessed it... a huge pigeon had chosen my head as a suitable landing spot to deposit its excriment. I was so embarrassed and tried to quickly wipe it away, but I only made it worse as i rubbed it into my thick fringe. I asked Heather to check how noticeable it was, but she refused because she "felt sick"! After what seemed like hours of begging she had a quick peek. Two minutes later, the remains of Heather's strawberry milkshake covered most of the bus stop and the people in it. We took out shamed red faces to the public loo as fast as we could get them there, but we ended up smelling so badly of puke and poop that we walked the 6 miles home!! - Anonymous
When i was 13 , every sunday my friends from my school and i would go to church, this one particular sunday we could not get a seat in the back ( we would sit back there acting the fool) we had no choice but to sit in the middle of the church. So , like we did every sunday , we were talking and laughing ( not loudly) , when father rossi spotted us , he stopped the entire mass to come over to us and let us have it . Then when he finish the mass , he called us by our names on the altar to stay after the mass was finish, everyone were looking at us and we had alot of people in the church who attended that particular mass . We were so embrassed, and every sunday after that , if he saw us sitting in the back he would call us to come sit in front of the church. Sorry father rossi
Every night when my boyfriend and i put our kids to bed they always act up and we have a hard time getting them off to sleep. So on this particular night my boyfriend was taking a shower and all night long he keep trying to catch which one of our sons was banging on the wall . He finally couldnt take it anymore so , he jumped out the shower and wrapped the towel around him quickly and went running out the bathroom , in the middle of running out the bathroom , i guess he forgot he was wet , and he slipped and went flying in the air, the towel also went flying off and he was laid out on the floor naked and the kids was standing there laughing at him, he kept trying to get off the floor but because he feet were still wet , he kept falling down and that made the kids laugh even more . He was so angry with us because we didnt help him off the floor because we could not control ourselves , we was hysterical from laughing at him. Everytime i bring it up , he gets so mad at us that he leaves the room. HeHe, better him then me!!! - Anonymous
My embarrassing story started at school.. I go to a very populated school down in Ohio and its 3 stories. One day I decided to show off to a couple of my friends. Well I was sliding down the stair rail and yeah it was the grande stair case. It was fun about half way down when it felt like my stomache dropped. It took me until it was all over to realize what had happened, I feel off the stair case and rolled down about 45 steps creating a domino effect. I knocked down a couple students and then my Head Principal. Man was I ever in trouble. - Tristin, 15
When i was about 10 years old , one sunday my family and i went to church , i believe it was easter sunday , so you can imagine how crowded it was . For some reason , i kept running up and down the church steps. my mother kept telling me to stop but i was a hard headed child and then it happened , I fell down the stairs , face down , my dress was up and exposing my underwear and all i did was lay there , i was so embrassed , that i froze and i couldnt move, my mother and grandmother was trying to get me up and i wasnt moving i was too embrassed then finally the pastor of the church stopped talking to the people and came over there to see if i was hurt but when he realized i was just embrassed , he gave me a lecture on disobeying my mother as i laid on the steps , face down! talk about embrassing - Anonymous]]> ViperHen Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsSun, 29 Jun 2008 01:35:56 -0400 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14917,14917#msg-14917 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14917,14917#msg-14917 jerry Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsWed, 04 Oct 2006 17:40:33 -0400 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14895,14895#msg-14895 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14895,14895#msg-14895it was 10 at night and i was in my room. i had a blanket around the bunkbed to make the bottem part a little fort. i was supossed to be sleeping insted i had shut my door turned off my lights and strung some old christmass lights under the top bunks mattris to give light to my fort. i had one of my dads porn mags under there. (my dad is a truck driver). I stripped off my close and got in the fort turned on the christmass lights in there and stated to play with my little thingy i was hard and thinking of nothing but the pics in the mag i was almost there when out ot no were i get tackeld through the blanket by someone. here i am 12 with a bonner getting tackled by my dad, he had hoped to surprise with him being home. my mom was standing in my door way when my dad uncovered the blanket he tackeld me with leaving me there naked in the middle of my room with my flag at full mast. i pissed my self when i saw my mom standing there looking at me i felt so embarrassed.]]> yingyang Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsSat, 22 Apr 2006 13:15:50 -0400 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14886,14886#msg-14886 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14886,14886#msg-14886
Everything was going well until one day. She was starting to like this guy from our class. This guy was a football player for are school. He was small, muscular, blue eyes and was quite popular in are school. He was the fastest player on the team.

Anyways, are class had a swimming trip. When we were driving to the pool in the bus I was sitting beside my girlfriend and I noticed she looked nervous and was quiet. Not like her. I asked her what's wrong putting my arm around her. "Nothing", she said. When the bus pulled up the guy she liked got off the bus and my girlfriend quickly got up and left to meet him outside the bus. While I was still trying to get off the bus. She handed him something and whispered to him. Which made him smile. I was not sure what it was she gave or said. Then she went inside to change.

Then the guy, she liked, started talking with 6 other guys from my class. Making me feel uncomfortable. I went into the change room and started to get undressed. There was no teacher around at the time and the worst thing happend. 5 guys were holding me down, one guy pulled down my underwear, one of the guys actually held my dick while the popular guy started taking pictures of me naked with a digital camera. Which my girlfriend must have gave him. He left to the pool area to show my girlfriend the pics. She smiled at the pictures and gave him a hug. I was so angry and embarrassed. She later that day dumped me and went out with that guy.

]]> Curtis Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsSat, 22 Apr 2006 13:17:56 -0400 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14881,14881#msg-14881 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14881,14881#msg-14881
Why?...Because you asked for it!

1984: I am a new father embarking on a new career as a Correctional Peace Officer at California's San Quentin State Pennatenary.

On the friday prior to the sunday when new hires are ordered to report to the department of Corrections six-week resident training academy, new personell are ordered to attend sort of orientain at their respective employing institutions. Because this event includes a facility tour, it is, for most (including myself), the first opportunity to actually walk the main line of a state prison.

The unfortuate tale actually begins the before the scheduled eventy described above. There was a nasty flu bug affecting many people in my area. It was my misfortune to catch this bug and was plagued with nosea and the runs for what would turn out to be a hellish 72 hours or so. As bad as this was, I would have gladly extended that time in exchange for the hell that I was about to endure.

The bug and the anxiety of starting a new job; combined with normal the trpidation of my forthcoming first visit to the main line of a (at the time) level IV state prison lead me to a mostly sleepless night on Thursday. This in turn caused me to be late getting on the road for my 45 minute drive to Q.

I know it seems like I'm going the long way around the barn with this story; but it's all relevant.

My late departure from home lead to my late arrival at the intitution. Once I clearded security, I was escourted to the classroom where the orientation was neing held.

Being a guy that prides himself on puncuality aside, this was not the first impression that I wanted to make on my new employer or the people that I would soon be trusting my life to; much less about to be living, in close quarters with for the next six weeks.

To my displeasure the class was already under way upon my arrival. To my horror, the only seat left unoccupied was in the front row, directly in front of the lecturn behind which a very gung-ho Seargeant was delivering his schpill to the rest of the new hires.

My first impression provided to my new co-workers was established as the Seargent paused until I became seated and continued to pause while a proctor assisted me in filling out the several forms that everyone had already finished. Again, the impression that I wanted to make.

Finally, I was situated and the caught up with the rest of the class. My comfort level would not be sustained for long though.

The Seargent had only gotten a few words back into his lecture when it happened. Oh God, did it happen. My unsettled stomach produced the nost noxious fart of my life. I was sure that, within seconds the level of my discomfort was about to be shared by those nearest me. I was right.

Seconds after expelling the silent killer, those closest to me (including the Seargent) begin to sniffle and look around for the source of their discomfort. This told me that they didn't yet know that it was me. With hope of continuaing this mystery, I mimiced their confusion and, at one point, even looked with open distain at the person seated next to me while shaking my head negatively.

Whatever hope I had of keeping my guilt concealed was, however; short-lived. After a short time, it became apparent that the smell (oh god, the horrible smell!) wasn't dissapating. I skooched around a little in my seat only to determine that I was going to have that smell with me until I was able to change ("at least", I thought) my boxers.

Begrudgingly, I rose and headed for the back of the room where I whispered my request for directions to the nearest restroom to the idle proctor. As fate would have it, the proctor, a thoroughy unintuitive older woman, sized me up and, in a voice loud and clear enough to be heard by those in the next room; not to mention everyone in my class, instucted me to the, "mens room" down the hall.

When I reached the mens room, I rushed to the mirror where, standing on my tip-toes looking over my shoulder, I was able to see my ass. Oh the Horror! Immediately obvious was the dark stain that covered about six inches of light gray slacks (you can't where jeans in a California state prison) that covered my, otherwise incredible ass.

While thinking up my next move, my mind began to race. "Oh my god", I thought as I realized that it would have been difficult "not" to have seen my wet fart stain as I excused myself from the class. I chuckeled when I thought about meeting the guys who would be chosen as my roo,ates for the next month-and-a-half.

Realizing that I had to do something (anything) to mitagate my situation, I locked myself in stall, removed my boxers (concealing them in the ask gasskit dispinser and did the best job I could of cleaning my light gray (god why did I wear those pant) slacks. I got myself and my slacks cleaned up as much as was humanly possible and started for the door. A quick glance in the mirror told me that my efforts to this point had been completely futile. Before I reached the door I was met with the realization that the flu may raise it's ugly head again and reproduce this wet embarrassment. Deciding that an ounce of prevention was, well the only thing I had to work with; I returned to the stall. There I took as much single-ply toilet paper as I could without creating the appearance of my having a basketball in my pants, and made a, sort of diaper.

So now I was as ready as I could get to rejoin the group. Knowing full well that, to do so, I was going to have walk my shit-stained ass past those same sixty sets of eyes to return to my seat. I sucked it up, toughed it out got back to my seat in front of the lectern. I still remember the annoyed expression that the Seargent wore as he, again paused his presentaion until I was situated.

No sooner did my butt hit the chair then the Seargent returned to his function. Before I could even get comfortable (well, as comfortable as I was going to get, anyway), the Seargent spoke the last words in the english language that I wanted to hear: "Well, lets take a tour". "NO!', I thought. Nomatter how conscientiously I cleaned myself up, it was very clear to anyone who noticed (and the terrible stencht ensure that all would notice) that I had just shit my pants.

To summarize the mornings events; I had arrived late, disrupted the the class three times, and SHIT MY PANTS. "Quite a first impression", I thought.

If this was the end of my tale, it would have been bad enought to qualify for inclusion in this forum. Naturally (certainly you've developed a read on my luck that day by now), the hell of that morning continued.

I rose from my seat and tried, unsuccessfully, to blend in with the group; which tried with much greater success to keep a distance from me and my stained, smell ass.

On the tour, whenever the group would pause at some point of interest I would endure the most uninhibited ribbing you can imagine from the inmates. You know, "I want the one with the stain on his ass" and other remarks of that vein. "Great", I thought. They all know who we were and why we were there and I was going to have to present an aire of command presence to these people when I returned from the Academy.

It was during one of these occassions that the group was halted (as fate would have it on the main line directly in front of a chow hall as the morning meal was concluding) that the capper to my nightmare came.

I looked down (I had done that alot on this day) and saw that, about three inches of the TP diaper that I had padded my wet fart spewing ass with had unraveled, worked itself down the inside of the leg of my trousers, and was clearly exposed. "No problem", I thought. "No one has noticed...I can deal with this". "Besides they're probabley looking at the shit stain on my pants anyway".

Nonchalantly and with as much cool as a guy wearing shit-stained pants on the mainline of a state prison was capable of mustering, I covered the exposed TP with the shoe on the foot of the oppasite leg. I made a quick kicking motion designed to tear the potentially embarrassing exposed TP free. Once the rest of the group looked back at the Seargent after watching my bizzare kicking behavior, I looked down to see, to the horror of my suprise that, not only had the TP not torn; but increased to a length of about two feet of very exposed toilet paper hanging out of the bottom of the leg of my shit-stained, smelly light gray slacks. (SHOOT ME PLEASE!!!) With no other option immediately clear to me, I repeated the bizzare kicking motion TWO MORE TIMES.

Think it worked? If you do, you haven't been paying attention. Each kick produced; in addition to the curious and annoyed stares of all those present; and additional couple of feet of very clearly exposed TP. It was like it was made of some sort of inditructable material.

Finally I was beaten. All hopes of maintaining even the slightest amount of dignity was lost abandoned. As all watched, I reached down and tore the TP, wadded it up and threw it aside. I picked the set of eyes most close to them and gave them a look as if to say, "Ya, I shit myself...Ya my pants are stained and smelly...Ya, my home-made diaper malfunctioned...What of it?...You could be my assigned roommate". And with that, my horror of Friday, February 3rd, 1984 ended.

Why? Because you asked for it. Your turn asshole.

]]> Pooch Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsSat, 22 Apr 2006 13:22:30 -0400 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14878,14878#msg-14878 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14878,14878#msg-14878I was 17 years old when this happened. I finished working out at the gym one day and decided to take a shower. I bought a new combination lock and it worked fine. So I stripped naked and put all my clothes in the locker and locked it. I got in the shower and started washing until i realized i forgot my towel in my locker. Then the worst thought came over me. I FORGET MY COMBINATION NUMBER!! I start panicking trying to figure it out but no luck. The Gym was now closing and I was the only guy left in the change room....totally naked with only my shampoo in my hand. Their was a cute girl working their and 30 minutes passed and I was trying to figure out what I should do while naked? All of a sudden she walks in the mens room guessing no ones their. ANY ONE IN HERE she yelled? Then she seen me. Oh! I'm sorry she said but were closing. I told her the whole story about my lock. She smiled at my nakedness. I'll give you a change of clothes from the lost and found. I thanked her and left feeling embarrassed.

]]> Zack Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsSat, 19 Nov 2005 14:13:45 -0500 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14870,14870#msg-14870 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14870,14870#msg-14870 Cassive Mock Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsFri, 07 Oct 2005 12:45:36 -0400 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14866,14866#msg-14866 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14866,14866#msg-14866 brian Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsWed, 15 Mar 2006 13:43:09 -0500 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14851,14851#msg-14851 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14851,14851#msg-14851 sarah Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsFri, 12 May 2006 22:42:06 -0400 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14850,14850#msg-14850 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14850,14850#msg-14850
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in." he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out of the tubing, igniting Mr.Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."
G
Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.





Top Ten Scariest Things About This Story !!

10. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum..." Not in my life time!!!

9. "So I peered into the tube..." (I'm sorry, but that's like looking through a
telescope into hell. I'd rather use binoculars to stare at the sun.).

8. That poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self esteem)
being shot out of the guy's ass like Rocky the Flying Squirrel on Rocky & Bullwinkle.

7. Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil being launched out of someone's anus.
I'm just guessing, but I seriously doubt the said gerbil was springtime fresh after
his journey into Kiki's "tunnel of love."

6. People walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas in their rectums.

5. People who do this kind of thing and then admit what they were doing
when taken to the emergency room. Sorry, but I think I would have made up a story
about a gang of roving, pyromaniacs, anal sex fiends breaking into my house and
sodomizing me with charcoal lighter fluid before admitting the truth. Call me old
fashioned, but I just can't imagine looking at a doctor and saying "Well Doc, it's like this.
You see, we have this gerbil named Raggot and we took this cardboard tube..."

4. "First and Second degree burns to the anus." Wouldn't this make the burning itch
and discomfort of hemorrhoids a welcome relief? How does one ever take a
healthy dump after something like this? And the smell of a burning anus must be
in the top five most horrible scents on the face of God's green earth.

3. People named "Kiki" which is obviously a Polynesian word for: "Idiotic white men
who insert rodents up their ass."

2. What kind of hospital would hold a press conference on this?

1. This happened in Salt Lake City. What kind of people are those Mormons?
I am getting a whole new image of the Osmond family.]]> chuck Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsWed, 20 Sep 2006 20:35:59 -0400 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14842,14842#msg-14842 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14842,14842#msg-14842 Jessica Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsWed, 15 Dec 2004 20:41:35 -0500 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14837,14837#msg-14837 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14837,14837#msg-14837
]]> 1_drty_B@stard Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsThu, 22 Jun 2006 15:20:11 -0400 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14831,14831#msg-14831 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14831,14831#msg-14831 supersatandeathcream Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsMon, 28 Mar 2005 00:28:53 -0500 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14764,14764#msg-14764 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14764,14764#msg-14764Firstly, I would like to say, you people that can't make a simple sentence out of simple words should all go back to fucking school.

Anyway, here is my story.

One day while I was visiting a company in China with my translator, when I suddenly felt like I really needed to take a crap, due to the Chinese lunch I had. So I excused myself and went to find the toilet to do my stuff. I found out that I had to take the elevator a one floor up to get to the toilet. Anyway once finally inside the toilet, I was absolutely busting, so I dropped my pants and commenced to crap. If you have ever been to China you will know that the toilets are not like ours. They are concrete with ceramic moulds built into a hole in the ground, which has two areas where you can put your feet while you squat and take a shit. The first problem that I encountered was that the light was out in the toilet so it was pretty dark. The second problem was that there was no paper for me to wipe my arss. Anyway I tried to be extra careful to have as clean a shit as possible, but due to the rich food in China my crap was one of those really loose runny ones. Anyway, I did my best to clean up but when I turned around I noticed that the toilet had a clear window at the back and there were a bunch of people looking at me, so when I was having a crap they had to be watching me the whole fucking time. Lucky for me the light was out in the toilet or they would have got an eye full. Anyway thats not the end of my embarassment. I went back to the office to finish my meeting with these Chinese people. When I got back I noticed that my translator wasn't there, so I just sat there smiling at these Chinese people. Anyway after about 2-3 minutes one of the Chinese guys started to hold his hand over his nose, then the whole group did the same. Then this horrible smell of shit started to waft through the air, when I looked down I noticed that I had a whole bunch of shit on the bottom of my shoes and when I looked at the carpet there were a whole bunch of shitty footprints all the way out past the reception. It suddenly dawned on me that when I was squatting down, I must have put my shoes down on some other dirty bastards crap. The biggest joke was soon to be on me, because in my rush to get back to the meeting I realised I had not been paying attention and instead of taking the lift back down, I had taken it one one more floor, and as a result I had gone into the wrong fucking office. It looked almost identical due to the layout, but it wasn't the same fucking office. So I quickly excused myself to make a phone call and got the fuck out of there, cleaned myself up, shoes and all and went back to the proper meeting two floors down.

One week later my translator called me laughing his arss off. He said that some Chinese company had called the police to complain about a Foreigner going into their meeting univited and spreading shit everwhere. He said he knew it was me because I was the only foreigner in the building at the time. I just said 'so sue me'! And commenced to tell him what had happened. The funny thing is that he told me that it is not that uncommon to go to the wrong office. It is however to go in the wrong office and spread shit everywhere.]]> M&M Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsFri, 20 Jun 2003 19:25:52 -0400 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14763,14763#msg-14763 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14763,14763#msg-14763 nrg Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsSun, 09 Apr 2006 06:52:00 -0400 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14749,14749#msg-14749 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14749,14749#msg-14749 someguy Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsFri, 09 Dec 2005 23:05:18 -0500 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14747,14747#msg-14747 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14747,14747#msg-14747 prettykittynpa Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsMon, 16 Dec 2002 00:36:26 -0500 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14738,14738#msg-14738 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14738,14738#msg-14738
Dam did that ever hurt...... We had to go to the hospital and they used all kinds of tools to get my dick out..Boy was my friends ass ever sore........Next time I will always use lots of grease.....]]> Gay Tom Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsMon, 25 Sep 2006 02:01:48 -0400 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14736,14736#msg-14736 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14736,14736#msg-14736so one night i'm with this girl i haven't been dating for very long and we go to the bar on her birthday. she insists that i take shots with her. dispite my telling her NO me on shots is very bad. she insisted and like every man trying for a drunken lay was not going to resist her looks. so when we get to her new house, i see her mother on the couch. i bet you can see where this is going now. so i wake up with my girlfriend screaming at me in her room about how could you do this. i had no idea what the hell happened untill her sister came up to me at a local club and reamed my ass for trying to sleep with her mother. i didn't think she would believe the sleepwalking story so i just let her throw her drink in my face and took it like a man.
oh well she had two kids anyway
and i got a new girlfriend but the blow jobs weren't as good]]> sleepy drunk Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsSun, 09 Apr 2006 07:06:50 -0400 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14731,14731#msg-14731 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14731,14731#msg-14731

Hahahahaha DORK !!!]]> Sun,Moon&Stars Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsSun, 07 May 2006 21:09:31 -0400 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14727,14727#msg-14727 http://www.zooass.com/forum/read.php?7,14727,14727#msg-14727 Chubby Life's Most Embarrassing MomentsTue, 18 Jan 2005 12:40:34 -0500