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Number of recent questions equals 5. The most recent question was added on 8/28/2008.
Question & Answer 1
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10/19/2001
I want to know if this practice of giving some one a "possum" (stickin a tampon up their ass) is safe and why a girl would get off on it when females dont have prostait glands? Wondrin bout an A-holes safey
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Wondrin, The female anatomy was created in order to have things put inside it. That is why it is blessed with so many holes to choose from, including the anus. Many women tell you they don't enjoy anal penetration, but the truth is that they do enjoy back door deliveries...they just don't know it yet. If the penis wasn't meant to go in the anus, then why would our Lord and Savior place the old brown eye so close to the pink pit of pleasure? I'll tell you why, so you can switch it up without having to move more than a couple of inches. Furthermore, if sticking things in your ass wasn't safe, then why would the medical profession create suppositories and anal thermometers. Shoving a tampon up ones ass is much safer than sticking a small thin glass stick. Mr. Penis
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Question & Answer 2
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9/6/2001
do black men realy have larger penis's than white men,and do know of any surveys on the black myth penis size question i can check. thanks, james m
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James, 
I believe this picture says it all. As you can see he has scored himself a hot white girl. You will also notice that she is not standing...she probably won't be walking anytime soon either.
I would also like to take this opportunity to answer the numerous questions I receive regarding, "What is the largest penis recorded?", "What is the largest penis known to man?", "Show me a picture of the largest penis". Well, here you have it folks! This guys Alabama black snake would blow the back out of any woman. Mr. Penis
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Question & Answer 3
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8/22/2001
Hi, Latly I have notice small bumps at the base of my penis. Also i have noticed extreemly small bumps on the bottom side of the head. I havn't fully had sex just played around. What could this be? They aren't pussing and aren't real big o i'm confused. If you can't help where should i go? Sincerely, Me
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Me, 
It sounds to me like you have a case of Stoogerea. The first sign of Stoogerea are pumps at the base of your penis which have the likeness of the 3 Stooges. As you can see in the picture on the right from a medical journal(source withheld), this patient's Stoogerea is flaring up good. There is no known cure for Stoogerea, but I recommend slapping the base of your penis while saying, "Wise guy, ay!?!??!?!"
Mr. Penis
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Question & Answer 4
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7/17/2001
Dear wonderous Mr.Penis, Well.. I'm a big fan of your column and I have an embarrassing question to ask you. Is it possible to actually fart during sex? I'm worried cuz I am a virgin and I would be extremely embarrassed if that happened. Could you clear that up for me? Thanks your a sex god! Diana
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Diana, It is possible to fart during any activity, including sex. That is the wonderful thing about flatulence. You can fart while in church, on a plane, at the theatre, while playing golf, and while standing in front of a midget. The possibilities are endless, and just remember, a fart is a friendly hello from my neighbor the anus. Mr. Penis
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Question & Answer 5
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6/21/2001
How do u get rid of smegma? Johnathan
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Johnathan, Sounds to me like I have another question from a hippie. I believe the substance is called soap. You should try using it when in the shower. "What is a shower?", you ask. A shower is a device which is used for cleaning yourself. It is an amazing feat of engineering. You turn these little knobs which cause water to come out of a pipe usually located above your head. In order for the shower to work properly you must move your body so it comes in contact with the stream of water. You will then use the soap to clean your body, paying special attention to your undercarriage, where the schmegma resides. Mr. Penis
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