THE ZOOPOCALYPSE IS HERE!!!
Yes. It is true. After 17 years, Zooass has perished. For years now, Zooass has essentially been a museum with me as its curator. We haven't had any new specimens in quite some time and I can hardly see through all the cobwebs. I won't blabber on and on about the reasons for its demise, but let's just say that Old Man Zooass is ready to lie down and drift away into Neverland (Michael? Is that you?)... after rubbing one out one last time of course.
WILL THERE BE ANY SURVIVORS?
Once the World of Zooass explodes into a million pieces some of its entities will simply refuse to die and come back to eat your brains. I plan to dump full versions of the most popular games on http://zooass.newgrounds.com. If you actually give a rat's ass, you can click on the "Subscribe to RSS Feed" button and you'll know when this happens. I'll likely stick a handful of titty games on mammarymemory.com and maybe actually do something with beboobled.com. So you'll still be able to get a little piece of ass... at least until Flash becomes extinct!
THE LONGEST THANK YOU EVER
Thanks to Chubby, F. Stevens, JB, KV, The Count, Doc and me too for making Zooass such a fun experience. It was a blast!
Thanks to all of our one time and especially repeat ZooSponsors for shelling out their hard earned cash to keep the site up and running for the past 17 years! Damn! Has it really been that long? "Why yes" say the gray hairs on my head as the some of the others fall off into the sink. We couldn't have done it without you!
Thanks to our fans in general. We enjoyed hearing you Praise Zooass and making you laugh over the years!
Thanks to the people who wrote us hate mail for things like the Pet the Pitbull postcard and Escape from Neverland. We enjoyed pissing you off!
Thanks to those who sought advice from Mr. Penis. If you actually listened to this advice we're sorry too.
Thanks to those who submitted jokes, dead pets, drinks, mammary memory pics, animations and forum posts (where will you post now, shoplifters?).
Thanks to the long gone PSINet. We enjoyed building much of the site at work on your dime!
Thanks to the Bizarre Bazaar shoppers for buying stupid things like Wind Up Whackin' Willy and the Jolly Jumping Pussie. Hmmm... should I take that back? Was it really worth the drive to the post office to make $2?
Thanks to the purchasers of Cock Art. My dong will be with you forever!
Thanks for the mammaries Shae Marks, Anna Marie Goddard and Suzanne Stokes. For giving once young horny guys (now old horny guys) the thrill of working with real live Playboy Playmates.
Thanks Larry Flynt for featuring Escape From Neverland in Hustler. Woohoo! My game made it into one of the very porno mags that I used to find in the woods! And thanks TechTV geek show Unscrewed for putting it on TV. And to the bizarre Welsh TV show Fideomondo for featuring a hot chick playing Tapeworm Trouble while being asked by a robot what kind of panties she wears and how she shaves down under. WTF?
Thanks to the Miss Zooass winners and contestants of yesteryear. You can now rest easy knowing that people won't stumble upon your contestant applications and find out about your past 3-ways and drug addictions.
Thanks to those of you who submitted pictures of your boobs. We like boobs.
Lastly, I would like to give a shout out the Girls of Zooass. The hardcore female fans from the glory days of Zooass who actually made us feel famous and famously felt us. You know who you are! Baby Creepy? Are you still out there? Sorry one of us traded you for a BJ. Please come home.
Seriously for real lastly, I would like to thank Zooass for providing me with an outlet to charm the girl who became my wife with my apparently witty newsletters of yesteryear.
Thank you all! You made the Zooass experience worth it!
This is Sir... signing off... [static]